Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
