its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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