Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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