and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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