You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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