Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
