i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
