Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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