i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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