you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize