You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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