...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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