Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
