Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
