my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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