did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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