Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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