omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
