i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
