I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
