moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
