All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
