Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
