Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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