I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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