I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
