You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
