Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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