Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sober January is a disaster.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
