ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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