So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
