But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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