btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize