I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize