Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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