Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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