Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
