I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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