Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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