I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
