I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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