No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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