i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
