I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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