the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
