Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
