two words: eviction party
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize