Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We left an ass print on the piano.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
