don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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