there was a trapeze. enough said
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
