all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
