Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
