Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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