So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
