Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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