Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
