and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
