Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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