im gay
i know
yea but for you.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize