Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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