11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
