Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
