The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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