left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
