Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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