Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
