So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't think brook has ever known best
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
