Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
