New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
