it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
