pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
