im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
