You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize